Is this how you greet your potential customers?

I’ve nothing against this company at all. I came across them the other day when researching. It appears they do good stuff when you really have a look around under the covers. The problem for me is that the headline above greets every one of their visitors. I’ve done a quick analysis on their wording below…

They are a systems innovator? A play on words I guess with system integrator – but really – is that a noun that means anything to its visitors?

They are Agile. They move quickly, bend easily? When you really think hard about that word, it’s superfluous.

are Customer Focused. Well I should hope so, every company worth its salt is – however I wouldn’t personally state that up front, because it should be implied and it’s wasting web real estate.

They Provide end to end next generation IT services. Ah – now we’re getting closer to what they do – iPhone 5s? HTML6 coding skills? Oh, maybe not. What does next generation mean I wonder?

They provide innovative solutions. See http://gobbledygook.grader.com/ and think of a phrase that really talks to your potential buyers. I’m afraid this one doesn’t.

The will Transform business processes, reduce infrastructure costs and enhance performance. With the exception of the last phrase, I’d say we’re starting to get somewhere – benefit statements are always good. That said, wouldn’t it be nicer to say “We’ve reduced over 50 customers IT infrastructre costs by 23%”? Social proof matters.

Take a look at your website/literature/reception area right now. How do you greet your potential customers?